50 words challenge
by MAYALICE95
Summary: A collection of captain swan ficlets ,written for 50 words challenge.
1. smile

When Emma smiles, her facial muscles move and her lips slowly stretch into a hint of a smile. She hesitates, her movements cautious, calculated. Like there was a hidden meaning behind it, as if the gesture had it in its power to plant false hopes, to fool everyone into thinking that all was well while the dangers still hung about their heads and no one could attest to what tomorrow would bring. And he wants to tell her that she might be the Savior, but she is firstly Emma, she is firstly human. And that she's allowed to smile and be glad, dammit! She's allowed to live without this indissoluble burden, she is allowed to be happy. Perhaps there's something selfish about that, because he needs her smile. He needs it to feel safe. For when Emma smiles, it feels as though the sun is shining, as though he can breathe again. Emma is a sedative that soothes his pains and he needs to have her close, deep under his skin and in his veins. So he makes her smile and lets her expel the darkness from his eyes.


	2. rain

The rain is an echo of a hundreds winters aboard the Jolly Roger

Killian is lying alongside Emma in the small apartment they share in Storybrooke, Her arms wrapped around him, her breathes slow and rhythmic. But his heart is miles away, his hands gripping tightly at the wheel of the swinging ship, the same way he had many times before, thunder shakes the heavens and the water covers everything.

Now it seems that the rain is mocking him. The rhythmic drip on the roof is a melody disdaining at his cowardice. his body is tingling, the house is suddenly too hot, too suffocated. He feels like he needs air.

Emma shifts slightly in her sleep when he releases himself from her grip, but she doesn't stop him when he goes out frantically, and lets the rain wash over him.

His legs are carrying him automatically to where he feels at home. On the dock, the smell

of rain mixes with the familiar scent of the waves, and Hook in a wet leather jacket is breathing it in deeply, letting it penetrate his lungs and clear himself from all the fears.

Emma arrives at the morning, her hair wet and she is hugging herself in an attempt to protect herself from the cold. They enter silently into the bug and under the covers, and Emma is taking off his wet clothes and cuddles up next to him with a cup of hot chocolate, exuding a strong scent of cinnamon.

The rain is subsiding to a soft drizzle and the pirate in him knows that the storm is over, this time they survived.


	3. Chocolate

Chocolate leaves a taste of an old memory on his lips.  
The cocoa he remembers is different, more bitter, and has a taste of excitement and danger.  
At the age of eight, he and Liam used to sneak into the kitchen on their tiptoes to take a piece of the heavily guarded treasure, hidden in a box on the top shelf, for honored guests only.  
It was always too bitter for them to like it, and when Mother caught them with sticky hands, Liam used to say it was all his fault. It didn't stop them for trying again every time.  
His tongue has a taste of childhood, of mourning and longing, of everything he had and lost.  
The memory is so vivid that he can almost feel it, the smell of chocolate, the rustling of silver paper, his Father's hand strikes when he discovered the half-eaten pack. Killian can almost feel the skin searing, the pain and humiliation, and with them he can sail off into more distant memories, happier memories, to the period when time went by normally, and everything felt easier.  
"Well, is it good? You like it?"  
Henry looks at him with eyes full of anticipation, and brings him back to reality.  
He thinks he does.


	4. Bells

Hook wants to marry Emma to the sound of the church bells in his hometown, where generations of the Jones' family were baptized , married and buried, to the same sounds.

Storybrooke doesn't have a church, and it doesn't seem like Emma believes in any God of some sort, but he feels the need to tie himself to her in the same ancient ceremony that his ancestors used to have.

When Charming gives him his daughter with teary eyes, Hook vows to love her in health and in sickness, for richer, for poorer and under any kind of curse, and when he leans in to kiss the bride, he doesn't need a God to acknowledge them as a man and wife, because the only force he trusts is true love.


	5. Alcohol

A huge thanks to my betas alongcameemma and sexyinmypairofconverse.

The rum burns his throat on the way down and Hook chokes and coughs, but he keeps drinking, as if it were a magic potion that has the power to heal his pain.  
He spent many nights of drunkenness (and let's face it, quite a few days too) in an attempt to forget. with every drop of alcohol he poured into his blood, he felt Milah and Liam fade a bit more, until he woke the next morning beside a random girl, his head hurting and his heart empty.

The night wakes up olds demons.  
The guilt punches holes in his soul, and Hook had to stop the flow of blood dripping from his wounds, stop the pain in the only way he knows how.  
This was supposed to be just one glass, but two hours later, he finds himself with an empty bottle that matches the numbness that surrounds him.  
He feels like he's sinking; everything that happened, the person he was, the things he did…  
They are all still there beneath the surface, but they are in a place where they can't touch him.  
Dim, harmless even.

Emma looks at him with a mixture of worry and understanding, and hook knows she has nights like this too; he isn't the only one being eaten from the inside out.  
He looks at her with haunted eyes, as she takes a step forward ,reaching for his drink and draining the rest of it with a single gulp.  
Her breath smells of alcohol when she kisses him, her cold fingers cooling the fire within him and Hook clinging to them as if he were a man holding on to a lifesaver. Letting her lead him to a safe harbor.

He wakes up the next morning with a terrible headache, but Emma is there when he opens his eyes to pick up the pieces and offer him an aspirin.  
He pulls her close to him, and she ditches her duties as sheriff and spends the morning with him, under the covers. Emma is a sedative that soothes his pains and with her he doesn't feel the need to drink even a drop.


	6. love

A huge thanks to my amazing beta! NothingImpossible

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It took him two hundred years to get over Milah. She'd been the woman he wanted at his side for so long, but even then, he never stopped to think of her in terms of forever. The old Hook couldn't see beyond the here and now, he didn't have the need to, and Milah, the Jolly Roger, and the open sea were all he needed.

He doesn't know if Emma is his happy ending, or if he deserve one, but Emma is the first woman to make him happy in a long time. He needs someone like her at his side, someone that can see beyond the pirate and makes him believe he still has good in him. He doesn't know if it's true love, but Emma is his here and now, and that's all he needs.


	7. Moon

The nights are restless in Neverland. Crickets singing, jackals howling, and the lost boys partying through the night. Emma lies on the hard ground, unable to fall asleep. It's been a long time since she slept in the open air, and from a distance, she doesn't understand how she wasn't afraid to fall asleep curled up in abandoned basements, or freezing in the back seat of her Bug. Now, her worry for Henry's safety keeps her wide awake. She listens to her parents' breaths, calm and deep, and tries to relax. Not far from her, Regina tosses under her blanket, sleeping and waking alternately.

By the fire, only the sound of the crackling embers can be heard, and Hook stares up at the moon with dark eyes, alert and motionless. He doesn't say a word when she gets up and joins him. They keep silent for a long while, both of them too tired to talk.

The fire reflects in Killian's eyes when he picks up a rusty cooking tin from the ground and pours some of the contents of his silver flask into it. He adds a handful of leaves before putting it on the fire. When the drink bubbles, he pours it into a cup and hands it to Emma.

She looks at the liquid with suspicion; it has a strong scent of alcohol.

"What is it?" she asks.

"Rum and tea leaves. It will help you sleep." She hugs the cup with her frozen hands, letting the hot steam fill her nose.

"Thanks." She takes a long sip, allowing the hot liquid to spread to her stomach. Hook was right. There is something calming in it.

"It's the pirate version of sleeping pills, better than the drugs they give you in the real world," he tells her. (His father use to make it for him, a long time ago. "Forget about these doctors and their stupid meds, Killian," he had said. "Trust me, I've yet to find something that rum can't solve.")

She sips slowly, staring at the flames while her muscles gradually relax. She falls asleep with her head on his shoulder, and Hook almost wants her to stay like this, peaceful and warm on his skin, when he carries her gently to her blanket.

"Sleep well Swan." He runs his fingers through her hair and walks away.

From a distance, the moon looks at them with a knowing smile, and Hook returns the favor and smiles back.


	8. Darkness

He welcomes the darkness like you'd greet an old friend.

It feels like pulling out an old cloak out of the closet, and finding it still fit, and Hook allows the familiar scent of rum and sea salt to surround him, and the comforting weight on his shoulders to pull him down, down, down.

Within the darkness, there is nothing but internal demons, nothing but little caprice, hundreds of years of heavy burdens, and the burning desire for revenge. He had been there before; the voices whispering in his ears, the despair, the feeling that there is no light, no light, no light. And there is nowhere to run from the thoughts running through his head, from the fears, from all the things he spent the past years trying to bury under the surface, and pretend they don't define him anymore, that he isn't this person anymore.

But there is also something else, something he never felt before. Magic. Power. He never asked for it. He disdains it. He resists it. It's the same power that killed Milah, the same power that took away the woman he loves. And Killian prefers to die than feel it flowing under his skin and polluting his blood system. But he was never strong enough to fight it, and when the bloodthirsty creature inside him wakes up from a deep sleep, Killian needs every power he has to stop it from bursting out in search for fresh meat.

Excalibur's pull is like hundreds of ropes he struggles to break free from. Once again he feels like a tool in someone else's hand, and this time it's Emma holding the sword, Emma who takes away his control. She doesn't trust him. And that's all he needs for the doubts to take over, all he needs to form cracks in his heart for the darkness to slip in.

When Emma hands him the sword with shaking hands, and says she does believe in him, it's too late.

 _She's too late._

When you embrace the darkness, there are no more regrets, no more apologies. He doesn't need to agonize anymore over the things he'd done, no longer needs to be ashamed of the person he was. Hook almost feels relieved. Because trying to be a hero is exhausting and doomed to failure. At least now, he doesn't need to strive to be someone he's not.

It's like a breath of fresh air that's fills his lungs and clears his mind. His love for Emma blinded him, diverted him from his goal, the revenge he sought for so many years. And now when he isn't weighed down by the need to be a better person for her, he can see things clearly. He loves Emma. But he can't let her control him, can't let her stop him this time.

It's not fair that once again he is the one that pays the price, the one who fights the darkness while the Crocodile gets a new start, as a hero.

After all those years, Hook can still hear his laugh ringing in his ears, can still feel Milah's cold hands on his skin and there is no heroism in the creature that did it. He can't let him get away this time; he had to repay him, for Milah, for Emma, for the person he became.

Before, he still held onto the hope that he deserved a happy ending after all, that with Emma on his side, he could beat the darkness, and they can start building their life together. But he knows now that villains don't get a happy ending, and the Crocodile must pay.


	9. Holiday

**Happy holidays! Hope you all having a great time.**

 **Here is a little Christmas fluff ^^ Thanks to tnlph for for being a great beta!**

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They didn't celebrate Christmas in the Enchanted Forest.

He remembers other holidays; all sorts of festivals in little port villages, sharing old tales around a full dinner table, wine, singing, and handmade gifts. But no matter what land you live in, holidays are always about being a part of something, and it had been a long time since Killian had someone to share them with.

He doesn't know a thing about Santa Claus or Christmas decorations but he is happy to help set up the tree and wear the ridiculous hat Henry insists on, if it makes Emma happy.

He can get used to it; the house smells like sugar and cinnamon, the three of them sitting in the living room, watching the little people on the screen with hot cocoa in hand.

He and Emma agreed not to exchange gifts this year. "You, here with me, is everything I could have wished for" she whispered to him a few nights before Christmas Eve. But he already had a gift in mind. A question hanging at the tip of his tongue. An old ring waiting for the right finger. They are not quite there yet. There are still wounds to heal and demons to face. But Killian knows Emma is his family, and the only way he wants to spend his holidays is right by her side.


End file.
